Is god trying to tell me something? why everytime i have made up my mind to end this friendship, she will start doing action to make me feel like she still treasure me as an important friend then some of her action will sometime make me overthink again. like that time when i heard she want to do 'Boy' by little mix without me, to be honest, i was so frustrated. is like we before that already say we want to perform together and that is like a 'promise' to me. but she break it. maybe thats not a promise to her. i dont know. i just feel damn disappointed with her and this is not the first time. there is quite a few incident. but mostly is because of my overly jealousy. and since then i have no feel to go for practices anymore. even until now was quite sian of practices too.

but then the practice right after i made that decision of ending it, she and another friend ran over to hug me once they saw me in school, cause they miss me. its been 1 week since we last met. ok 1 week is not very long, but maybe cause i kind of mia since i am on intern then during sch time before i go intern, we meet up quite often, so ya. anyway what i want to say is that, its the first time she actually ran to hug me once she saw me, then my frustration and disappointment all gone. i am quite surprise and touched by their action. for a moment i feel that i am important in their life, especially when it comes to talk about hers. but still i feel sian cause most probably cant get to perform with the 2 of them i guess. 

then the next day, she did something that makes me feel even more love from her again. she meet me after my work at BV mrt station then go practices together cause she went city to watch movie. but that's not the main thing. main thing is she texted me '下班了吗宝贝' right after i end work. that day after work, i was quite shag alr cause i have quite a lot of things to do during office hour and the moment i saw that text, i just cant stop smiling. it feels great to have someone waiting for you to end work, especially when the person waiting for you is so important in your life. and yes she is by far one of the most important person my life. and i cant imagine what would happen if our friendship end, which i actually thought of ending it before. anyway that day was actually quite a smooth and good day for me. boss praise my work and my speed of work and it rain almost the whole day except for my lunch time and after work, which is when i have to leave office and there is no shelter, and the bus driver actually wait for me when i am quite a distance away from the bus stop and a sweet text from her and go to sch with her. i must say that is really the best day i had since holiday. and i tweeted the text msg and she reply 'HAHA miss ni ma', which make me even more touched.
For now things seem going well between me and her and all i hope now is, our friendship remain like this and i just dont wish to start getting overly jealous then start getting angry and disappointed in her then start giving her attitudes then when she feel and know i am angry with her, we have to talk things out and worst through text somemore, which i hate. and most of the time is she came and ask me is it i angry with her. i just dont want her to feel upset and trouble by what i feel, cause i will feel like its too selfish for feeling this way when we are not even together. and i realized i have been trying to avoid all this thing by getting obsess with something. more like someone. i will talk about it the next post. so thats all for today. thanks my dear blog. :)